CAUTION: This is going to feel like complaining. I am NOT trying to complain. Just trying to reflect on my journey as I strive to become more civic-minded. Anyway, here goes ...
Sunday, I went to volunteer at Give Kids the World -- I was super excited to be in "Ashley's Art Corner" working with kids to make scrapbooks to remember their time at GKTW. Sooooo excited. Unfortunately, and I hate to say this, but it was not a fulfilling or meaningful experience. I think it was just a bad combination of a lot of things -- they had waaaay too many volunteers, hardly any kids came, I didn't particularly connect with any of the other volunteers, etc. etc. etc. I barely did anything the whole time, except try not to waste their scrapbook paper because I felt selfish using their supplies, but I was told by the coordinator to play with the supplies if I got bored, and I was, because they didn't need me to be there at all!
I understand that there are good days and bad, and hopefully if I keep going to GKTW I will the good will outweigh the bad. But still, I left feeling incredibly grumpy and irritated on the way home. Needless to say, that is not the way you want to feel after volunteering. That would be the exact opposite of a "volunteer high."
And then everything starts spiraling, because you feel grumpy and irritated for feeling grumpy and irritated. After all, are you doing this for yourself? Are you doing this just so you can feel good? Isn't that self-centered and selfish? Well, in a way, yes.
But we are in complete denial if we refuse to admit that at least a part of why we would volunteer is because it makes us feel good. It is the reason that people flock toward opportunities like GKTW, Special Olympics, Habitat for Humanity -- these are all great ways to make a difference that really make you feel good. If non-profits solicited volunteers only to do things like scrubbing toilets, filing papers, and so on, some truly good souls would still do it, but they'd be hard pressed to fill all of their shifts.
As I get more experienced with volunteering and really figure out who I am as a volunteer, these are the three things that I think are essential to a positive experience:
1. Feeling useful and purposeful
2. Meaningful interactions with others
3. Having fun
And in that order, I would have scrubbed toilets, filed papers, heck, even shoveled manure, if that's what they really needed. I hate feeling useless, hate when there are too many volunteers, hate when I could have skipped out without anyone noticing. Please, please, please, put me to work, or recognize when there is no work for me so that you can find something else for me to do. I don't know about other people, but I am not just doing this for the community service hours. You say you need volunteers? Use them!
If at all possible, I also want to interact with other people -- the kids, their parents, other volunteers. This is where the feel good part really comes into play. It is through those interactions and those relationships that memories are built. Those moments will lead directly to number 3 -- having fun. I don't need a party. I don't mind sweating or working hard. But if I feel needed and if I am having the chance to connect with others, than chances are I am already having fun.
So while it may feel selfish to focus on yourself when talking about volunteering, there is a major reason to seek volunteer opportunities that are personally fulfilling -- you are WAY more likely to return for more. Just like everything else in life that is challenging but makes you better -- exercise, education, work -- if you want to make a habit out of volunteering, you need to find something that you love.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
La-Ti-Da Spa and my Spa Girls
After loving my time with Kids Night Out, I wanted to book as many different types of volunteer shifts as I could find. I jumped at the chance for a last minute shift at La-Ti-Da Spa, which typically books up fast. How could I resist the chance to hang out with kids in an adorable sparkly spa, giving them hand massages, painting their nails, doing their makeup, and painting their faces?
La-Ti-Da Spa is a great example of how Give Kids the World does an awesome job making even the simplest things feel extraordinary. The very nature of a spa has a lot of therapeutic benefits to a child -- having someone touch your hands or face, sitting quietly and having a one-on-one conversation with someone, getting to feel beautiful. It's made even better by the beautiful decor and soothing spa music. Not to mention, it's the first door on the right once you enter a castle. Magical stuff indeed.
I knew once I had such an amazing time with my first volunteering shift that not every shift would feel so life-changing. Sometimes, I know I will just go in and deliver pizza or help set up an event. And today's shift was fun -- I did a few manicures and make overs, and I painted a girl's face to look like a puppy. It was fun, but it definitely was not the same one-on-one interaction I had on Wednesday night.
However, I'm making it my goal to always leave a volunteer shift with something to take away with me, and this day, it was the volunteers that really inspired me this time. I worked with two girls -- one who, as a high schooler, juggles two sports, two jobs, AP classes, and still comes out on her days off to do multiple shifts at GKTW. Her grandfather has played Santa every Thursday for the past several years -- not letting anything get in the way of his commitment to the organization. The other girl is so dedicated, she makes the 3-hour drive from her home to stay with family for a weekend full of GKTW volunteering. She is transferring to UCF soon, largely to be closer to GKTW.
These girls are so far beyond where I was in my maturity at their ages. They are true examples of the type of selflessness and generosity that lets organizations like GKTW thrive. Talking with them really showed me -- volunteering IS a commitment. It is great to do something when motivation strikes, or during the holidays, or for a school project. But to volunteer like it's your job ... that is an entirely different thing. At that's what I see from a lot of the people at GKTW. And how do they do that, while still finding balance in their "real" jobs -- their school, work, and family lives? Well, I think when you do something that fuels you with so much passion, you actually leave with more energy than you started with. I imagine that they're actually better students, employees, parents, or whatever, because of it.
It all just makes me realize that, if they can do so much, I can, too. This is no different than any other change I've made in my life, after getting past all of the hurdles and excuses as to why I couldn't do something. If I can get my MFA, if I can run a marathon, if I can pay off debt, I can do this, too. Each of those things became possible because I put it in my mind that they were a priority to me. So for all the time that I spent thinking I wasn't making enough money to donate to causes, or didn't have enough time to volunteer, why wasn't I at least donating just a dollar, or giving just an hour? Just like each of those major events in my life, I'm going to treat volunteering as something that is a decision, a change, an active choice in my life -- and I'm going to keep taking small steps until I am addicted to it and couldn't imagine my life any other way!
Want to help Give Kids the World? Please support my fundraising initiatives in the GKTW Gingerbread 5K by visiting my fundraising page here!
La-Ti-Da Spa is a great example of how Give Kids the World does an awesome job making even the simplest things feel extraordinary. The very nature of a spa has a lot of therapeutic benefits to a child -- having someone touch your hands or face, sitting quietly and having a one-on-one conversation with someone, getting to feel beautiful. It's made even better by the beautiful decor and soothing spa music. Not to mention, it's the first door on the right once you enter a castle. Magical stuff indeed.
I knew once I had such an amazing time with my first volunteering shift that not every shift would feel so life-changing. Sometimes, I know I will just go in and deliver pizza or help set up an event. And today's shift was fun -- I did a few manicures and make overs, and I painted a girl's face to look like a puppy. It was fun, but it definitely was not the same one-on-one interaction I had on Wednesday night.
However, I'm making it my goal to always leave a volunteer shift with something to take away with me, and this day, it was the volunteers that really inspired me this time. I worked with two girls -- one who, as a high schooler, juggles two sports, two jobs, AP classes, and still comes out on her days off to do multiple shifts at GKTW. Her grandfather has played Santa every Thursday for the past several years -- not letting anything get in the way of his commitment to the organization. The other girl is so dedicated, she makes the 3-hour drive from her home to stay with family for a weekend full of GKTW volunteering. She is transferring to UCF soon, largely to be closer to GKTW.
These girls are so far beyond where I was in my maturity at their ages. They are true examples of the type of selflessness and generosity that lets organizations like GKTW thrive. Talking with them really showed me -- volunteering IS a commitment. It is great to do something when motivation strikes, or during the holidays, or for a school project. But to volunteer like it's your job ... that is an entirely different thing. At that's what I see from a lot of the people at GKTW. And how do they do that, while still finding balance in their "real" jobs -- their school, work, and family lives? Well, I think when you do something that fuels you with so much passion, you actually leave with more energy than you started with. I imagine that they're actually better students, employees, parents, or whatever, because of it.
It all just makes me realize that, if they can do so much, I can, too. This is no different than any other change I've made in my life, after getting past all of the hurdles and excuses as to why I couldn't do something. If I can get my MFA, if I can run a marathon, if I can pay off debt, I can do this, too. Each of those things became possible because I put it in my mind that they were a priority to me. So for all the time that I spent thinking I wasn't making enough money to donate to causes, or didn't have enough time to volunteer, why wasn't I at least donating just a dollar, or giving just an hour? Just like each of those major events in my life, I'm going to treat volunteering as something that is a decision, a change, an active choice in my life -- and I'm going to keep taking small steps until I am addicted to it and couldn't imagine my life any other way!
Want to help Give Kids the World? Please support my fundraising initiatives in the GKTW Gingerbread 5K by visiting my fundraising page here!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Day One: Kids Night Out
I love being a teacher, because I never want to give up summer vacation. For me, it's not just about going on trips or sleeping in. I see summers as a time to step back, reflect on life, and then go after what you want with a renewed sense of purpose.
So this summer, when I stepped back, I realized that I had become so obsessed with my job that I needed to spend some time with people, places, and experiences that were completely detached from my life as a theatre teacher. We've also become a lot more stable in our finances, having paid off all of our debts except the mortgage, so it was also time to get serious about giving back to our community.
I put the two ideas together, and after hearing an inspiring radio interview about the volunteerism thought that I could at least use the summer to get involved with an organization. I've never really liked the idea of just cutting a check -- I know that every non-profit could use money, but it's never felt as satisfying to me as going out there and really getting involved and interacting with other people.
Give Kids the World Village was the organization I chose to get involved in, and I have since completely fallen in love with the place, and hope I get to spend a lot more time supporting them. I love them so much, in fact, that I wanted to start this blog to record my memories before my days there start blurring together.
Give Kids the World is, essentially, a dream resort for kids. The organization was started by a hotel owner who was contacted by Make a Wish Foundation. A little girl with a life-threatening illness wanted to come stay at his hotel so that she could come to the Orlando theme parks, and he agreed, but unfortunately she passed away before the travel plans could be finalized. This hotel owner was so affected by this that he created GKTW, a place where families who have a child with a life-threatening illness could come at a moment's notice, stay at the resort for a week, eat, and do all of the theme parks, all free of charge.
So when I say this place is magical, it really is. Kids can have ice cream, as much as they want, whenever they want. There is a castle in the center of the resort with thousands of children's wishes posted on stars all over the ceiling. It's Christmas every Thursday. Kids get the bedroom with the master bath. The GKTW mascot, Mayor Clayton the bunny, can come and tuck kids in by request. It is a place full of love, happiness, and hope.
What I love the most about this place is that they understand they make volunteering feel incredibly special. You can sign up for whatever you'd like, but if you are really excited about interacting and having meaningful experiences with the kids, there's so much that you can do.
My first shift was on Wednesday, at an event called "Kids Night Out." It's a time for parents to get a bit of R&R, so each volunteer is paired up with one kid and takes the kid to play games at an arcade, to dinner, and then to "Village Idol," where the kids can be contestants or judges in an American Idol-style show.
I was incredibly excited about the chance to spend one whole night bonding with a kid. My husband, on the other hand, was intimidated by the idea of such an intimate experience. He wanted to work a shift driving the big train, so that he didn't have to interact quite as much. Of course, I was the one scheduling our volunteer shifts and I somehow messed his up, so when we got there, Kids Night Out was the only open option. I was really worried that he would have a terrible experience, and, let's be honest, a positive experience is a big part of getting someone to volunteer again.
But it couldn't have worked out any better. The kids got to pick their "dates" for the night, and Justin was picked by a spunky five-year-old boy with a cowboy hat and Kentucky accent. His older sister, who was nine, picked me, so we had a wonderful evening the four of us, playing games, coloring, and eating dinner together. The brother and sister teamed up to perform in Village Idol together, where they robot danced like pro's. By the end of the night, the sister was asking when she could see us again and was holding my hand (I was particularly touched by this, as nine is about the age when hand holding stops being cool).
What I loved the most about this girl was her hopefulness. Volunteers aren't allowed to ask about if they are a Wish Child (a child with a life-threatening illness), what type of illness they have, and so on, but if the child brings it up it is alright to talk with them about it. Through the night, this girl shared with me that she was the Wish Child, but every time it came up she kept a positive glow in her eyes. She demonstrated for me how she could do thumbs-up and an okay sign with her left hand, after having been temporarily paralyzed by a surgery on her left side a few months prior.
At the end of the night, all of the participants in Village Idol got a trophy. I smiled, seeing that all of the trophies were obviously donations, as their were trophies from every sport imaginable. When she ended up with a soccer trophy, she didn't even notice that it didn't make sense for "Village Idol." Instead -- she exclaimed, "I love soccer! I've wanted to play soccer so long but haven't been able to," indicating her illness. I knew in that moment that to her, it was a sign, and that she could see herself playing soccer one day very soon.
So this summer, when I stepped back, I realized that I had become so obsessed with my job that I needed to spend some time with people, places, and experiences that were completely detached from my life as a theatre teacher. We've also become a lot more stable in our finances, having paid off all of our debts except the mortgage, so it was also time to get serious about giving back to our community.
I put the two ideas together, and after hearing an inspiring radio interview about the volunteerism thought that I could at least use the summer to get involved with an organization. I've never really liked the idea of just cutting a check -- I know that every non-profit could use money, but it's never felt as satisfying to me as going out there and really getting involved and interacting with other people.
Give Kids the World Village was the organization I chose to get involved in, and I have since completely fallen in love with the place, and hope I get to spend a lot more time supporting them. I love them so much, in fact, that I wanted to start this blog to record my memories before my days there start blurring together.
Give Kids the World is, essentially, a dream resort for kids. The organization was started by a hotel owner who was contacted by Make a Wish Foundation. A little girl with a life-threatening illness wanted to come stay at his hotel so that she could come to the Orlando theme parks, and he agreed, but unfortunately she passed away before the travel plans could be finalized. This hotel owner was so affected by this that he created GKTW, a place where families who have a child with a life-threatening illness could come at a moment's notice, stay at the resort for a week, eat, and do all of the theme parks, all free of charge.
So when I say this place is magical, it really is. Kids can have ice cream, as much as they want, whenever they want. There is a castle in the center of the resort with thousands of children's wishes posted on stars all over the ceiling. It's Christmas every Thursday. Kids get the bedroom with the master bath. The GKTW mascot, Mayor Clayton the bunny, can come and tuck kids in by request. It is a place full of love, happiness, and hope.
What I love the most about this place is that they understand they make volunteering feel incredibly special. You can sign up for whatever you'd like, but if you are really excited about interacting and having meaningful experiences with the kids, there's so much that you can do.
My first shift was on Wednesday, at an event called "Kids Night Out." It's a time for parents to get a bit of R&R, so each volunteer is paired up with one kid and takes the kid to play games at an arcade, to dinner, and then to "Village Idol," where the kids can be contestants or judges in an American Idol-style show.
I was incredibly excited about the chance to spend one whole night bonding with a kid. My husband, on the other hand, was intimidated by the idea of such an intimate experience. He wanted to work a shift driving the big train, so that he didn't have to interact quite as much. Of course, I was the one scheduling our volunteer shifts and I somehow messed his up, so when we got there, Kids Night Out was the only open option. I was really worried that he would have a terrible experience, and, let's be honest, a positive experience is a big part of getting someone to volunteer again.
But it couldn't have worked out any better. The kids got to pick their "dates" for the night, and Justin was picked by a spunky five-year-old boy with a cowboy hat and Kentucky accent. His older sister, who was nine, picked me, so we had a wonderful evening the four of us, playing games, coloring, and eating dinner together. The brother and sister teamed up to perform in Village Idol together, where they robot danced like pro's. By the end of the night, the sister was asking when she could see us again and was holding my hand (I was particularly touched by this, as nine is about the age when hand holding stops being cool).
What I loved the most about this girl was her hopefulness. Volunteers aren't allowed to ask about if they are a Wish Child (a child with a life-threatening illness), what type of illness they have, and so on, but if the child brings it up it is alright to talk with them about it. Through the night, this girl shared with me that she was the Wish Child, but every time it came up she kept a positive glow in her eyes. She demonstrated for me how she could do thumbs-up and an okay sign with her left hand, after having been temporarily paralyzed by a surgery on her left side a few months prior.
At the end of the night, all of the participants in Village Idol got a trophy. I smiled, seeing that all of the trophies were obviously donations, as their were trophies from every sport imaginable. When she ended up with a soccer trophy, she didn't even notice that it didn't make sense for "Village Idol." Instead -- she exclaimed, "I love soccer! I've wanted to play soccer so long but haven't been able to," indicating her illness. I knew in that moment that to her, it was a sign, and that she could see herself playing soccer one day very soon.
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