Being a "Selfish" Volunteer

CAUTION: This is going to feel like complaining. I am NOT trying to complain. Just trying to reflect on my journey as I strive to become more civic-minded. Anyway, here goes ...

Sunday, I went to volunteer at Give Kids the World -- I was super excited to be in "Ashley's Art Corner" working with kids to make scrapbooks to remember their time at GKTW. Sooooo excited. Unfortunately, and I hate to say this, but it was not a fulfilling or meaningful experience. I think it was just a bad combination of a lot of things -- they had waaaay too many volunteers, hardly any kids came, I didn't particularly connect with any of the other volunteers, etc. etc. etc. I barely did anything the whole time, except try not to waste their scrapbook paper because I felt selfish using their supplies, but I was told by the coordinator to play with the supplies if I got bored, and I was, because they didn't need me to be there at all!

I understand that there are good days and bad, and hopefully if I keep going to GKTW I will the good will outweigh the bad. But still, I left feeling incredibly grumpy and irritated on the way home. Needless to say, that is not the way you want to feel after volunteering. That would be the exact opposite of a "volunteer high."

And then everything starts spiraling, because you feel grumpy and irritated for feeling grumpy and irritated. After all, are you doing this for yourself? Are you doing this just so you can feel good? Isn't that self-centered and selfish? Well, in a way, yes.

But we are in complete denial if we refuse to admit that at least a part of why we would volunteer is because it makes us feel good. It is the reason that people flock toward opportunities like GKTW, Special Olympics, Habitat for Humanity -- these are all great ways to make a difference that really make you feel good. If non-profits solicited volunteers only to do things like scrubbing toilets, filing papers, and so on, some truly good souls would still do it, but they'd be hard pressed to fill all of their shifts.

As I get more experienced with volunteering and really figure out who I am as a volunteer, these are the three things that I think are essential to a positive experience:

1. Feeling useful and purposeful
2. Meaningful interactions with others

3. Having fun

And in that order, I would have scrubbed toilets, filed papers, heck, even shoveled manure, if that's what they really needed. I hate feeling useless, hate when there are too many volunteers, hate when I could have skipped out without anyone noticing. Please, please, please, put me to work, or recognize when there is no work for me so that you can find something else for me to do. I don't know about other people, but I am not just doing this for the community service hours. You say you need volunteers? Use them!

If at all possible, I also want to interact with other people -- the kids, their parents, other volunteers. This is where the feel good part really comes into play. It is through those interactions and those relationships that memories are built. Those moments will lead directly to number 3 -- having fun. I don't need a party. I don't mind sweating or working hard. But if I feel needed and if I am having the chance to connect with others, than chances are I am already having fun.

So while it may feel selfish to focus on yourself when talking about volunteering, there is a major reason to seek volunteer opportunities that are personally fulfilling -- you are WAY more likely to return for more. Just like everything else in life that is challenging but makes you better -- exercise, education, work -- if you want to make a habit out of volunteering, you need to find something that you love.